twatnip: one time i got hit in the head with a soda luckily it was a soft drink
hatewizard: GENUINE DICKSUCKER
avatarstateyipyip: pizzaforpresident: So in one week we’ve got three cannibal cases in Florida, a man spitting blood all over a highway patrol officer, another man disemboweling himself and then throwing his intestines at two police officers, and a woman beheading her infant and eating it’s brain……. What in the actual fuck is going on in Florida.
not-good-with-computer: queendashian: blingostarr: spiswatchingyou: i-steal-your-pantsu: videohall: Wow that’s amazing, I thought it was fake after seeing them draw on the paper. That alone is ingenious. what the hell oh my gOD i was already dead at the dance dance revolution part thaaat’s pretty cool i want BANANA PIANO. BANANA PIANO.
I just don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to stay in bed all day long and watch lame romantic comedies and drink coffee and read books in your underwear. Whoever established all these “get a job, be successful” conventions really needs a serious beating. I didn’t sign the terms and conditions for this shit.
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!
theyellovvbrickroad: a fag walks into a gay bar everybody is awed by the walking cigarette
coffeeandvonnegut: guys, have you ever googled bunnies yawning
jack-sparrow: oh right. the poison. the poison for kuzco. the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco. kuzco’s poison.
zomutts: New LoL champion I don’t need it I don’t need it I don’t need it … I NEED IT
pityfiesta: overanalyzing-phineas-and-ferb: a single tear is shed for all the animators who have to draw frontal Phineas
What's your renegade Time Lord Name? →
datalec: iggymarauder: dapperpuppet: Tau The Seer Iggy Marauder: Omicrex Iggy: Demacrex Chinah Pond: The Liberator Chinah: Lord Octosi Omg I can’t pick? My timelord name. Is Greg. GREG. I am The Motherfucking Oracle. You are all to refer to me as The Oracle from now on.
moominboy: rules of tumblr: